Hello, Goodbye: How Daily Transitions Can Strengthen Your Marriage (Part 1)
We’ve all heard the story: two people meet. They vibe. They can’t stop texting. Fast forward a few months (or years) and suddenly they can’t imagine doing life without each other. Cue: engagement pics, pizza dates, matching playlists. Love feels like magic, like you're floating on cloud nine with pizza-flavored ice cream. (Yes, we said pizza-flavored ice cream. Stay with us.)
Comedian Mike Birbiglia once summed up that early-love euphoria like this:
“Falling in love for the first time is a completely transcendent experience. It’s like eating pizza-flavored ice cream. Your brain can’t even process that level of joy… And then eventually we meet someone who says, ‘You have a secret special skill.’ And you’re like, ‘I know! So do you!’ And they’re like, ‘I know!’ And then you’re like, ‘We should eat pizza-ice cream together.’ And that’s what love is. It’s this giant mound of pizza-flavored ice cream and delusion.”
Let’s be honest—that stage is amazing. But what happens when the pizza-ice cream starts melting?
When Love Feels... Familiar
At some point, most couples hit a phase where love feels a little less sparkly and a little more meh. You start living parallel lives, sharing space but not really connecting. You might even start wondering, “Are we still special to each other? Or are we just... roommates with rings?”
Spoiler alert: This is totally normal. Psychologists call it diminishing returns—the more we experience something, the less novelty and excitement it offers. But don’t panic! Long-lasting love isn’t about constant butterflies—it’s about deep connection, intentional rituals, and emotional attunement.
What Actually Makes Love Last?
According to relationship expert Dr. John Gottman, the secret sauce behind lasting love isn’t grand gestures or steamy weekends away. It’s the tiny moments—how you say hello and goodbye. Seriously.
In his book What Makes Love Last?, Gottman talks about the power of “attunement”—being emotionally in sync with your partner and expressing that in your everyday interactions. And guess what? That starts with the transitions you make every day.
Think about it: When your partner walks through the door, do they get your full attention or a distracted head nod while you're mid-scroll? These small interactions shape how loved and seen we feel over time.
👋 6 Simple Ways to Make Hellos & Goodbyes Matter
Here are some practical, low-effort ways to reconnect with your partner during those everyday comings and goings:
1. Pause and Be Present
Before you greet or say goodbye, pause your podcast, put down your phone, or step away from your laptop. Give your partner your full attention—even if it’s just for 10 seconds.
2. Say Something Meaningful
Start reunions with: “I’m so glad to see you!”
End goodbyes with: “I’ll miss you” or “I can’t wait to hear how it goes later.”
These small phrases show you value your time together and are already looking forward to your next moment.
3. Appreciate Out Loud
Say thank you for something—“Thanks for making coffee,” or “I loved our chill night yesterday.” It reinforces your connection and reminds both of you that the little things do matter.
4. Trade Daily Recaps (with a Time Limit)
Set aside 5 minutes each to share about your day. This keeps you both in the loop without turning every night into an hour-long therapy session. Boundaries = love.
5. Incorporate Touch
Hugs, hand-holding, a shoulder squeeze—it’s all good. Physical touch increases oxytocin (the bonding hormone), which helps you feel closer and safer with each other.
6. Keep It Consistent (Even If It Feels Awkward at First)
Trying something new always feels a little weird. That’s normal. Start small. Even just saying “I love you, drive safe” before they leave can lay the groundwork for deeper rituals later.
Make It a Team Effort
Not sure how to bring this up? Literally just send this blog to your partner with a “Hey, I think this is cute and something we could try.” Let them know you’re working on being more intentional with your connection—and invite them to do the same.
The more consistently you show up for each other in the small things, the more secure and satisfying your relationship will feel.
Want a Stronger Marriage? Start with Hello.
Love can feel less exciting over time. That’s normal.
Emotional connection comes from small, everyday rituals.
Saying hello and goodbye with intention helps build trust and closeness.
Even a 10-second shift in attention can totally change the tone of your relationship.
The best part? You don’t need to book a retreat or buy matching couple's journals (unless you're into that). Just show up for each other—in the ordinary, quiet, daily moments.
Stay tuned for Part 2, where we’ll dive into deeper ways to stay connected even during life’s busiest seasons. Until then, happy hellos and meaningful goodbyes ❤️